Making the Decision to Forgive

Ask yourself… What do you consider to be the hardest thing about forgiveness?

Read a story with me. It may be familiar to you but I want you to read it through.

Then one of the Pharisees asked Him to eat with him. And He went to the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to eat. And behold, a woman in the city who was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at the table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of fragrant oil, and stood at His feet behind Him weeping; and she began to wash His feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head; and she kissed His feet and anointed them with the fragrant oil.

Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he spoke to himself, saying, “This Man, if He were a prophet, would know who and what manner of woman this is who is touching Him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answered and said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” So he said, “Teacher, say it.”“There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?” Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”And He said to him, “You have rightly judged.”

Then He turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has washed My feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head. You gave Me no kiss, but this woman has not ceased to kiss My feet since the time I came in. You did not anoint My head with oil, but this woman has anointed My feet with fragrant oil. Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little.” Then He said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.” And those who sat at the table with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this who even forgives sins?”Then He said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”– Luke 7:36-50

This story had always intrigued me, mainly because of the sacrifice the woman was giving. But I want to focus on Simon and Jesus’ interaction. In another part, we’ll talk about the woman’s sacrifice.

When you read this story in the Passion Translation, the monetary values are $100,000 vs $10,000 instead of 500 and 50 denarii. The two men were debtors but one had more to pay back. Imagine if you had a $10,000 debt. In order to abolish the debt, wisdom would tell you to live below your means. You would be uncomfortable; you would have to stop excessively shopping, eating out and other leisure to apply effort into getting rid of the debt. But with a $100,000 debt, you would have to live at the absolute bare minimum. Further more, you’d live with so much regret because everything you gain in the present (salary, income, welfare, loans) would not be enjoyed but applied to what is in the past (debt). You would have no room to think about the future.

So now, the debt forgiveness comes in. Both of the individuals who were forgiven would be grateful for the new freedom given by forgiven debt. But the one who had more debt will be even more grateful because their present resources can go into the FUTURE (a new car, house, children, retirement) and not have to think about being tied to the past.

Simon was a Pharisee, a Jewish teacher of the Law (Torah). These were the type of people who dotted every i and crossed every t. According to the Law, this woman was not supposed to be in his house and was considered unclean because of her reputation as a prostitute. But Jesus being Jesus, “knew men’s hearts” (John 2:24) and saw beyond his self righteousness. He knew that she may have been a prostitute but Simon, although versed in the law had sins of his own and that his observation of the law was not what would save him.

Her acknowledgement of Jesus is what distinguished her from Simon and caused her to obtain mercy and forgiveness.

In the eyes of God, sin is sin. I believe Jesus was using the differences in the monetary amounts to demonstrate how we perceive how bad our sin is. He used the dialogue to expose the attitude in our hearts when it comes to how we receive the mercy of God. Sometimes our own self-righteousness blinds us from seeing that we all are in need of forgiveness.

We say, “What they did is so much worse than what I have done to anyone. No one deserves what happened to me!” That last statement is true, but that first one isn’t – in God’s eyes. He sees us all the same. We all come short of the glory of God. We all have done something that is detrimental to others. We just sometimes don’t know it because we don’t feel the effects of what we’ve caused. When you can understand the depth of sin you’ve been forgiven from, the Holy Spirit will provide you the mercy to forgive those who have inflicted the deepest of wounds to your soul.

He loves you and the person who hurt you. He’s not on either side – He loves both the victim and the one who inflicted pain equally. He died for both and offers life, mercy and freedom to both.

Am I saying that it’s easy? No, but it takes willpower. It is a choice. It is an intentional, informed decision that takes reflection; an act of the will after seeing the mercies of God upon your own life and flaws.

I speak all of this as a woman who has been abused — emotionally, and sexually. I have had my boundaries violated. I have been defied and overpowered. I have been wronged and disrespected. I’ve been used and discarded. In moments when it gets hard and memories try to remind me of what hurt, I deliberately have to put pride to death and apply mercy, reminding myself of God’s perspective of the situation and the person.

You have to choose to forgive every time another layer of that hurt reveals itself in the sneaky moments it comes up into your soul. You have to choose to bring the issue before God again and again, just so that you can keep sober and not get re-intoxicated by the “right” to hold onto pain. Truthfully… it can be so tempting to the ego (i.e., the flesh), but you have to choose to yield it all to God and know that He will take care of the core of the issue to properly vindicate you and correct issues where needed.

If you are hurting from an issue, pain, a situation, a relationship, a hurtful conversation, even abuse — I want to tell you that you’re not alone. You absolutely can forgive. You absolutely are strong enough to make the decision to say “I’m letting this go” and I will not be a prisoner to this pain any longer. Please don’t depend on getting an apology to be released or gain closure from a hurtful encounter. You owe it to absolutely no one to be a voluntary slave to their past actions and to your emotions and perceptions of the event(s). You don’t want offence to be a ball and chain of destruction (and stagnation) to you. You have a future that is calling your name.

I want you to remember (or take a look at for the first time) the depths of how much Jesus has poured out for our permanent forgiveness. I encourage you to take some time today, read/listen to an audio Bible about what took place in the Garden of Gethsemane to the Cross. Let the Holy Spirit impact you with what took place so He can help shift and change your perspective on God’s mercy and forgiveness. Allow God to disarm you of your pride, the right to be right and/or the desire to keep the memories on file, “just in case”.